Growing up my dad had an obsession with plants. He had a collection of them everywhere with a plant beside every window, and another collection outside.
I never really liked them growing up, it was too hippy for me and having to water them everyday was too much work. Often I was asked to water them and I almost never did, I either forgot or didn’t care. So if it were up to me they’d die all too soon. But when I did remember I’d flood the soil with as much water as I could in an attempt to make up for lost time.
And then as I got older I really started to appreciate them.
I noticed they brought a sense of peace, relaxation and beauty. They brought character and energy to an already lifeless, dull environment. There really is something about nature like going for a hike – that really calms people. I understand it now.
I had to learn that watering the plants wasn’t a chore, it was about slowing down and appreciating the stillness and beauty that came from watering them.
But when you have as many plants as us, it attracts other forms of life like birds and insects. And naturally where you have a lot of flying insects you have spiders.
It didn’t help that we didn’t have shades or curtains by our door. So at night the light from the inside drew in a lot of flying insects towards the door.
This meant a great place for a spider to build a web.
And so every morning as we walked outside, we would run into a spider web. This happened EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Every time we cleaned the web, the same spider would leave a new one in it’s place the next day.
It was annoying as hell and we kept destroying the web hoping it would eventually go and build one somewhere else.
But no matter what we did the web always kept coming back, it’s owner relentless. Either Mr. Spider was dumb and didn’t get the message to go live somewhere else, or the location was prime real estate.
None the less even though it had to rebuild every day, it always ate well.
The spider taught me a lesson in persistence. It wouldn’t accept defeat and kept coming back no matter how many times it was defeated. And it reminded me of my own struggles in life when I wanted to give up.
Most people and even other spiders would have given up and just gone somewhere else. But it must have been the sheer desire to eat and will power that kept it going – because the spider knew nothing else.
That’s a winner’s mindset.
If you want to WIN, you need to be a certain kind of ignorant. Deaf to all suggestions of friends and family when they tell you to give up. You need to be blind to all defeats, losses and failures. With only an image of success, the final result in your mind. Knowing it’s yours and nothing will stop you until you get it.
No matter how many times you fail, if you keep working at it, trying again and again… Opening yourself up over and over, getting back up each and every time, eventually you will get what you’re working for.
Every time you fail remember this quote.
“If life knocks you down try and land on your back because if you can look up, you can get up.”
Les Brown
I’ve had a ton of failures in my life and I still get friends that look up to me telling me that I’ve always been a success and they wish they could be like me. But the truth is my entire life has been a struggle, my whole life has been a mess. But it’s been beautiful.
I’ve never let my failures label me, because of that I’ve grown into something else entirely. All I’ve ever thought in life was “How do I get out of this?” I’ve never accepted my fate and soaked in pity. And so people often forget the kind of trouble I’ve gone through, starting out so young.
You could be struggling with anything. Maybe it’s finding a job, an assignment or passing a test. Just keep going no matter what. JUST. DON’T. QUIT.
I remember writing my final exam after finishing college. I swear to you I busted my a** in school, and near the end I would study for 3+ hours every single night. I knew everything there was to know, and when I took that 4 hour exam I failed.
The first time I thought “Okay, I just need to study more, no big deal.” But when I failed over and over it felt like I’d NEVER make it. I studied the crap out of my study material and practice tests. There was nothing more I could learn from my books.
It seemed like the exam was nothing compared to what I studied. All my peers were struggling too. I began to think it was a scam. That they purposely made it hard, to collect as much money as possible from fees every time we wrote. But then I noticed it was done to filter out the weak links. We had to prove we really wanted it.
So I kept trying. My mindset was either I pass this test or I die! I wanted to cry on the inside, but I was already in pain so I had to get my reward.
I wrote that exam 4 times before I finally passed and when I did I was on Cloud 9.
All of us have experienced failure at some point, we chase our dreams, yet continue to face defeat. We know the story of how Hollywood has crushed countless dreams of those wishing to become a star. And after years of failure they finally believe they weren’t destined to make it.
Everyone I know is tired of working their 9-5 jobs when it sucks all their time and leaves them with a measly pay. Many of them start YouTube channels after being inspired by other people’s online success. And give up shortly after starting. I’m no different, but they just don’t tell you they’ve been at it for years, with multiple failed YouTube channels.
This idea of persistence applies to everything and lots of us can relate when it comes to dating. People become heart broken after too many rejections. It’s either attributed to bad luck or a bad dating market. An experience of consistently being ghosted and meeting weirdos. So they decide to give up and cut all chances of finding a match.
Keep trying over and over and remember to improve yourself along the way. Dating is really just a number’s game and has nothing directly to do with you, some people may like you and some won’t. You need to filter through the schools of crazy before you meet compatible.
Don’t give up when you’re tired but keep opening up, be vulnerable and be persistent.
Many of us have tried one thing or another and given up after we realize what it truly takes to make it. We tell ourselves “It’s too hard, I can’t do this, I’ll never make it.”
And when you believe those words it will be your demise.
Life likes to test everyone through discouraging experiences but those who get up over and over end up succeeding. You have to pass the Persistence Test before you prove yourself worthy enough for success.
Every failure teaches us a valuable lesson.
If you can’t take defeat, you’ll never make it and if you do and continue to push, you’ll be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams.
Defeats are always temporary unless you quit.
People throughout history have experienced countless rejections, yet despite them they refused to give up. J.K. Rowling was a destitute single mother on welfare facing real financial hardship. She had completed the manuscript of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone and was eager to submit it.
But she received 12 rejection letters. Most people would take that as a sign it clearly wasn’t working, and choose to give up and move onto something else. But she refused. After all, this had to work she had to succeed. It was a matter of life or death so she continued to believe in her story no matter what. She had an Iron Will.
Then one day a publisher’s daughter loved her story giving her a lucky break. Her belief, persistence, and refusal to give up against all odds earned her the mega success she received.
“It takes 10 years not 10 seconds to lift off, stay patient and try not to get pissed…”
Dumbfoundead, Rapper
If you want to succeed you have to accept there is NO Plan B. Plan B is planning for failure. Only losers recognize a Plan B…
In closing I ask you,
Will you let temporary setbacks steal your dreams, or will you choose to break down every wall in your path until you reach them?
Remember, it’s not life’s circumstances that take your dreams away — it’s the choice to quit.
So fight for your goals with everything you’ve got, and don’t carry regrets to the grave. Your dreams deserve your persistence, and your future self will thank you when you’ve made it.
After all,
“It’s not over until I win and if I haven’t won it’s not over.”
Les Brown
Your friend,
Jamie.
