Why Fear of Failure Is Holding You Back From Success
What is it that they say?
You never know until you try…
How do you know if you will like something–or better yet if you’re good at something if you don’t try?
When you let fear stop you dead in your tracks of the life of your dreams.
The longer you wait, the more the fear kicks in. In other words–the more you think about what you want to do before you start, the longer you’re stuck in limbo. Thus the longer you’re stuck in the negative cycle of analysis–paralysis.
I know because I’ve been through that hundreds of times. And I don’t want to start until everything is perfect.
But it won’t be. Because life isn’t perfect.
Things don’t fall in line when you first start. (But people won’t tell you that.)
They are messy and non-linear.
You have to actively go out and try new things, even when it’s scary.
But when you do you might find that you’re actually really good at something you never knew if you didn’t try.
Steve Carell, a totally ordinary guy never intended to become an actor. He tried something new almost by accident that later propelled him into a career of acting.
He was into history, not acting. He worked a series of jobs including mail delivery and bartending.
Until he just happened to take an improv class. He didn’t think he’d be good at it–he just tried something new for fun.
Until he realized that he had great comedic timing and strong improv instincts. He figured out how to make awkwardness funny instead of uncomfortable.
All of this led him to the starring role as Michael Scott in “The Office” which ran for 9 seasons.
His choice to try something new literally changed his life and propelled his life forwards in the realm of acting!
Others never get anywhere because they care about what others think. And so they put themselves into a box where they are constantly looking for permission from others.
Permission to tell them, that what they want to do is okay.
But your intuition knows more than the people you are trying to impress. And their opinion is going to change day by day just as quickly as the seasons change.
There are people out there who live their whole lives trying to impress those around them.
These people act a certain way because they think that society, their friends and family dictate what they should do with their life.
So they do what they are told without actually thinking for themselves.
They live their whole life trying to impress those around them without actually doing what they want.
That if they do what society tells them they are living life correctly.
But what if they are wrong?
There’s a scene from Fargo that illustrates this perfectly, where a poster on the wall reveals a powerful truth.
Society will tell you not to do something. But I tell you to do the thing you’re afraid you’ll be judged for.
Because many people in life don’t actually think for themselves. They live their life for external validation. And so they settle and they fit into the box that’s set out for them.
The box that will keep them small until the end of time, because the truth is that many people in life have no idea where they are going, they just blindly follow the crowd.
They might even look back at the course of their life in their 50’s and wonder where they went wrong. They call this a “midlife crisis.”
And they’ve come this far more as a “parrot” and less like a real human being who’s actually experienced it; they just repeat what everyone tells them.
But those that take the path of the Rebel will see treasures beyond their wildest dreams. The ones who don’t fit into the box that society lays out for them.
People don’t believe them at first. They say it can’t be done because it hasn’t been done before. But rebels close their ears to the opinions, keep their head down and change the world.
We call these types leaders.
And then the world praises them like they were geniuses. But all they did differently was they took their own path, because they are no different than you or me.
Look at the Michael Jordan the basketball legend.
“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career… I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan
He was a failure. But he showed up every single day. He did what he was afraid to do. He had to try again and take it step by step. Shot after shot. He didn’t do it all at once. He went to bed at night and slept.
But he came back again to take another shot, and another…
Until, he became so big he transformed into the icon you see on your sneakers today.
You may think that you can’t do it, but these things take time. They don’t happen overnight. They happen a little bit one step at a time.
And this is what makes it easy because it’s broken down into little bite sized pieces. You don’t eat a whole pie at once. You cut it into slices and eat one slice at a time.
And this is done by establishing the right habits.
Maybe people have told you that you can’t do something. And maybe you believed them. I know I used to think this way.
I used to let people tell me what I could and couldn’t do.
But it was my own choice to hear.
Until I became deaf to their negative influences.
Just understand when people shoot you down, it’s only a reflection of their insecurities, not yours. They will tell you that you can’t do something because they themselves believe that they can’t do it.
But what if you tried and you actually succeeded?
Or would you rather live a life of regret and end up like those who suffer through a midlife crisis?
Always wondering if you could have made it.
Because you’ll miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
In a way you have to expect success. Because a lot in life can be like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When we think that we’re going to fail or that we aren’t good enough, we don’t try hard or consistently enough. If we think we can’t do something then we’ve already lost the battle before we’ve even started.
So essentially you only have 2 choices.
A: You could do what you’re scared of which might lead to riches, freedom and happiness.
or
B: You stay stuck where you are living your miserable life.
Think of all the money and years to come only to be wasted where still nothing has changed.
Is that worth the cost?
Nothing changes unless you do.
And you have to take the step forward.
Little by little. Every single day.
People will tell you it can’t be done…
But what if you’re right—and they’re wrong?
Don’t let them snuff you out.
Keep the fire burning,
— Jamie
