We are going to talk about Fear.
Fear is like a ghost. It immobilizes people at first sight and it defeats millions everyday. Many of them have what it takes except the courage to take action.
Fear is the gatekeeper standing between you and the treasure you’re dreaming of.
It’s natural for us to be attached to the things that make us feel calm. This is because deep down we strive for safety and security due to a need to survive and grow. It’s the same reason we formed communities and why we have farms and cities today.
Being together in a group means safety from the outside, and although it has these advantages it comes with it’s own disadvantages. It’s a killer for our hopes, dreams and souls. Sometimes even our own growth.
I remember a documentary I saw once where a swan family was gliding down on the river and one by one the young birds took their first attempts at flight. All of them flew except for one. The stranded cygnet tried and failed over and over. But it didn’t fail because it couldn’t. It failed because of fear and then gave up entirely.
Eventually the parents got very angry with their baby and decided to get aggressive. They pushed and pushed scaring the young bird to where it feared for it’s life.
The parents had changed the direction of the fear and made it so the young bird no longer had a choice but to focus on the fear of getting attacked by the parents rather than the fear of flying. The young bird had no choice but to force itself to fly in order to run from the fear of being beaten.
The fear the bird experienced the first time wasn’t real. There was no “real” danger because birds were born to fly. But the fear that came the second time around could have, had it not found courage to actually fly.
Fear is just a warning of possible danger. So we don’t have to listen to it because it doesn’t mean there actually is danger like when the bird was scared to fly. However, the second time around the bird had to obey and fly because it knew this time the danger was real.
We need to take risks and go through a path of potential danger in order to get to rewarded.
Here are some excuses fear tells us.
The fear of success that asks you “What if I succeed but I can’t handle it?”
The fear of debt that says “I don’t want to pay for that course or seminar that could put me ahead if I have to spend money I don’t have right now.” (Even though I’ll probably stay stuck in the endless work a job, collect debt, pay off debt, go back to work, collect more debt cycle.)
The fear of starting a business that says “What if I don’t have what it takes and my business fails in a few years?” Or “What if I take the risk and put money on the line and I lose it forever?”
Let me tell you something about money.
Money is meant to be spent on things that bring us joy or help us in some way. It should not be squandered, or wasted!
The fear of what others think that says “What if they don’t like me and I ruin my reputation?”
These fears are just your mind asking you “what if?“
A safe life running from fear doesn’t take you anywhere. What has it done for you so far?
But when you let go of these fears, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
When you have nothing to lose you become dangerous because now truly nothing will stop you.
I remember times in my life when I faced my fears and I saw the changes happen right before my eyes.
When I faced those fears and did those things did they kill me? Did it ruin my life?
NO!
Honestly the worst that could ever happen is embarrassment of your own feeling. But that’s your choice to feel that. Things are only awkward if you make them awkward. So laugh it off because nobody’s going to remember and nobody cares!
Almost every time, I came out more confident, respected, and full of euphoria like I could never believe. I felt like a totally different person, almost like a dream had come just come true.
Let me tell you about one of the times I first learned to face my fear of heights.
I was 13 at summer camp when we were asked to climb a rock climbing wall. This wall although high, had a zip-line attached at the top where we could glide our way back down.
The height of it terrified me. But I really wanted to go on that zip-line and I knew that the only way I could ride that zip-line was if I faced my fears. If I could get through it then I’d be rewarded. So I was determined to win!
The moment I started climbing I was overwhelmed by fear and couldn’t stand the feeling any longer – the gnawing anxiety. But I made the decision before I started that I was GOING TO MAKE IT.
Half way up I looked down and felt the fear kicking in, but I couldn’t give up now because I knew fun was only feet away.
I got on that zip-line and I had so much fun I was glad I pushed!
Believe it or not there were only a few of us that actually made it up there. The rest of them chickened out.
So after that I came off that zip-line the coolest kid at camp with a girl on my arm.
But none of that could have ever happened if I just folded like everyone else around me.
Everyone gets scared, Mike Tyson was scared, and that feeling never goes away until you confront it.
“The strange thing about fear and faith. They both require you to believe in something you can’t see.”
Bob Proctor
There was no real danger to me at all. I was harnessed up with a rope to safely prevent me from falling.
The best way to conquer fear is by knowing that it isn’t real and that the only power it has over you is the power you give it. Because there’s a good chance that what you’re scared of won’t ever happen.
And by making the choice to succeed before you start, you’re setting an intention to succeed that will smash through any potential for failure.
Because otherwise if you already think you won’t make it why bother even trying? That’s a sure chance of failure.
I guarantee it.
Constantly think of the rewards you will have after you conquer the fear, it will keep you going when you look down and you’re too scared to continue.
In the end, fear is just a ghost – loud in the dark, but powerless in the light of your courage!
Do one thing today that scares you. You’ll find it wasn’t that bad. Then after that do another.
It will start to get easier and easier as you gain more confidence in yourself and what you believe you can achieve.
Your friend,
Jamie.
