When you are attached to things, you have something to lose.
It could be the nice car you drive, or the beautiful things you own.
But when you’re scared to lose these things you play it safe.
You turn down opportunities fearing that your “perfect life” can be taken away.
Because of this a lot of the time we struggle to get anywhere in life.
We naturally see our physical possessions as extensions of ourselves. They are the external impression of our own image.
Our results and environment are the true reflections of how we are on the inside…
The messy room, our successes or failures in life. Our positive or negative relationships. Even how we react to the events in our lives.
The world around us is a reflection of how we see ourselves.
Our insecurities drive us to hide our flaws with the overly flashy things we buy. When people see them, their attention is drawn away and they don’t see what’s really lying underneath.
The truth is though, that these things hold us back because we aren’t willing to let them go for something better. So we can’t move on.
They cost us hard earned money. So we value them and we can’t bear to see ourselves without them.
Things that don’t cost a lot of money we naturally give little value to. But actually, it’s backwards.
The best things in life are free.
Our time, friends, family, our experiences and memories were all free.
To break free from this curse first ask yourself what you want from life, instead of buying things to distract you from not having it.
You need to write out what that is in detail to make sure you stay on course. Then when life and distractions come along again you will have your reminder in case you forget.
Next, you have to let go and choose what you’re willing to let go of. I say this because there is no such thing as something for nothing! You’ll need to let go of some things holding you back to move forward.
Maybe you want to start your business and you simply don’t have enough time to work on it.
You might have to quit your job entirely or do something part-time to make ends meet. But to me that sounds more exciting then a boring job that you hate anyways.
This will temporarily put you in a state of the unknown where now you may not know when or where your next dollar is coming from.
You don’t know what could happen, because chances are you haven’t done this before.
You might need to cut down on your living expenses and subscriptions. It could mean that you start eating one meal a day to keep everything together.
Everything has it’s price, there’s always a cost.
But that’s where the adventure is because now you’re free. You can now create any story, and go down any path you choose!
Every day we are constantly being influenced by advertising on TV, your phone screen and even through our friends bragging about this or that product.
But the luxuries we all want are the same things that keep us stuck, until we are already free.
Let me illustrate.
The Monkey and the Jar
There’s an old story about a hunter, his jar and a monkey.
The hunter wants to catch a monkey, but monkeys are clever. So he gets a jar with a narrow opening, it’s just big enough to fit his hand through the top. Then he leaves some food in it to check on later.
When he came back he found a monkey with its hand in the jar tightly clenching the food he left earlier.
The monkey is scared and knows it’s about to be caught by the hunter so it desperately tries to escape. But its hand is too big to slip back out of the opening while holding onto the food.
The monkey can simply free itself at any moment.
All it has to do is simply let the food go. If the monkey does this its hand will be small enough again to fit back out of the jar and it can escape.
The problem is the monkey can’t bear to let go of its food prize. The monkey doesn’t need it. It can eat something else but doesn’t want to.
So it doesn’t let it go. The monkey’s greed keeps it trapped because it’s too scared to let go and finally gets caught.
The moral of the story is about how holding on too tightly to something can keep us stuck. Freedom comes when we let go of some physical things.
We are just like the monkey.
The things we own can trap and consume us keeping us stuck in the same place.
We work unfulfilling jobs so we can live and buy nice things that get dangled in front of us. We buy things other people buy because we feel accepted when we do.
We hang onto these distractions for years. It doesn’t serve us, but deep down we believe we can’t do any better.
We want more from life but we don’t want to get it because we are scared.
Every day, people are terrified of taking any leaps or risks keeping them stuck.
We accept that we live in a harsh cruel world where the life we want is too hard to get.
Opportunities pass and we are left with regret.
Growing up, I was constantly being told I couldn’t do something by my parents and peers. I needed to take what I could get even if it wasn’t what I wanted. I believed I wasn’t good enough and that life was hard.
So I distracted myself with whatever I could get my hands on to avoid facing reality. The reality that I didn’t want this life.
Until I let go and took charge of my own destiny.
I listened to the wrong ideas from the wrong people. Life handed them a shit sandwich and they accepted it. So they tried to “help” by giving me that same advice which trapped me just like them.
Without a doubt the times in my life that were the most impactful, the times in my life where it changed the most…
Was when I decided to let go of living a “safe” life. It was only when I lived dangerously, where I had no choice but to desperately figure out how to stay afloat.
Everyone around me told me I was crazy. That I was making a mistake. That I wouldn’t be able to make it, along with whatever else they said.
They doubted me because they couldn’t see themselves doing what I was trying to do.
But you know what happened after I let go of the life raft?
I’ve always found a way to float!
And I’ve always come out a stronger person in a better place.
This is how we grow.
Through struggle, through adventuring into the unknown, through desperation. Because that’s when our better self takes over. Then we gain clarity.
Because it’s survive or die.
And when we do magic happens.
Your friend,
Jamie.
